OPINION|
In the journey of life, we often come across extraordinary stories that inspire and challenge our perspectives. Recently, I had the privilege of befriending Jeff and Lori, a couple who have been married for an incredible 48 years. Their story, marked by love, resilience, and the realization that every moment is precious, left a profound impact on me.
Jeff and Lori's love story began in college when Jeff was captivated by Lori's waterskiing skills. Recognizing her as the woman of his dreams, they embarked on a journey that included raising a family, successful careers, and eventually, a well-deserved retirement surrounded by the joy of grandchildren.
Lori candidly shared that no marriage is immune to challenging seasons. These periods of discovery, both of self and each other, are inevitable. Jeff and Lori weathered their fair share of storms, but nothing prepared them for the ultimate test they faced when Jeff was diagnosed with cancer. “After Jeff’s diagnosis, we were each grappling with our personal fears — Jeff’s of losing his life and mine of losing my ‘rock’. However, living in a dark, sad space had to stop as it was a waste of precious time and truly not our style. Our best problem-solving weapons were always common sense and humor,” Lori shared.
Jeff's diagnosis brought a unique perspective to their marriage. With a monthly pharmaceutical trial hanging in the balance, Lori embraced the philosophy of “carpe diem.” Each day, each sunrise, and each sunset became a celebration, a testament to their enduring love. Jeff's response to the pharmaceutical company's monthly call, “Hello,” triggered the delivery of another supply of medicine, accompanied by the note, “We will follow up in 30 days.”
This season in Jeff and Lori's life prompted me to reflect on my own marriage with Paul. How would I approach our time together if it were our last month? The answer lay in the simple yet profound gestures that often get overlooked in the hustle of daily life.
I would hold his hand and kiss him more often, letting go of trivial annoyances. I would appreciate the positive aspects he brings to our relationship and family. Our dinners would become more intimate, illuminated by the glow of a candle. Engaging in his passion for cars would become an opportunity for connection, not just a routine. Regular expressions of deep love and admiration would become the norm.
As Valentine's Day approaches, it's easy to get caught up in the material aspects of love. However, Jeff and Lori's story reminds us that true connection lies in the intangible moments we create with our loved ones. The gifts may fade, but the impact of how we make our spouse feel can be the foundation of a renewed and strengthened marriage.
Observing Jeff and Lori walking on the beach, a fishing pole in his hand and a shell bag in hers, instilled a profound reminder to pause and reset.
Despite their debates on the pickleball court, they consistently chose to end the day together, appreciating the beauty around them, enjoying sunset after sunset. Lisa added, “Jeff came up with the ‘coupon book’ philosophy, which currently sustains us. Simply put, we picture life as a book of coupons of unknown number, and we try to use each one purposefully and with good intent. Not always easy! However, it’s a good visual that keeps us on a positive path and helps prevent petty or angry feelings from spoiling good moments. We pray for the coupons to keep on coming!”
Jeff and Lori's story serves as a poignant reminder that every day is an opportunity to love like it's your last. As we witness the sun rising on a new day, let it be a catalyst for embracing the precious moments and renewing the love that binds us together.
