Today is Day No. 34 in my quest to find out why the brand-new Take Five car wash at Glenstone Avenue and Cherry Street sits idle.
I don't have an answer. I have repeatedly called the Take Five people whose job it is to talk to members of the media. They are supposedly in Charlotte, North Carolina — assuming they exist.
I have listened repeatedly to the phone message: “If you are a reporter on deadline please leave a message and someone will get back to you.”
Yet, no one gets back to me.
I've emailed them and, still, no one gets back to me.
I would issue them a subpoena if I could, but I don't have the legal authority.
The day I was asked the question
I vividly remember the day I received the question. It was May 28, 2024. It was a Tuesday. It was 11:18 a.m.
It came via an in-house message from my boss, David Stoeffler, chief executive officer of the Hauxeda.
“A new car wash was built at the corner of Glenstone and Cherry — work was finished a couple of months ago, but it has never opened and now the weeds are growing up around it. This was an expensive piece of land bought by Curtis Jared, according to the reader. Why isn't it open?”
I remember that moment as if it were, well, 34 days ago.
It was sold; and on a different topic can we do away with ‘Board board'?
Jared is president and chief executive officer at Jared Commercial and Management. He's a developer and a member of the Springfield-Greene County Park Board board.
Could someone please change the name to the “Springfield-Greene County Park District” so no one ever again has to write “Springfield-Greene County Park Board board?”
But I digress, digress.
In February 2023, Jared sold the 1.2 acres of land where the car wash is. I've called him, but he never calls me back. I'm starting to get a complex.
I'm told through his intermediaries that Jared does not know why the car wash has not opened, even after asking Take Five for an answer.
I can neither confirm nor deny if the purchase was expensive.
Who names a company ‘Boing?'
As I reflect on my failure to get an answer, I believe the problem starts with the parent company of Take Five. It's the name.
Boing US Holdings Inc.
Who names a company “Boing?” And this is coming from someone named “Pokin.”
“Boing” is a sound. I associate it with cartoons. I think of “boing” when, for example, a character steps on a rake and the handle comes up and hits them in the face: Boing!
Or you spray your car with high-pressure water and it comes out the other end and smacks your face: Boing!
I'll tell you who has covered the construction of this car wash like it's Hunter Biden's laptop. It's the Springfield Business Journal.
“In the spring (of 2022), crews demolished the former Arvest Bank branch at 600 S. Glenstone Ave., located at the Cherry Street intersection. At the time, Jared said the building was being demolished to make way for developable lots.
“The building also previously was a branch of Bear State Bank, which Arvest acquired for $391 million in 2018, according to past (SBJ) reporting.”
On Aug. 23, 2003, the Business Journal ran a photo of the car wash being constructed.
“Customers can choose from four wash modes, and an unlimited membership is also available. The facility will have 16 vacuum stalls and a Pro5 Detail Center, offering Armor All Professional interior and glass cleaner products and microfiber towels after any wash.”
I've seen those 16 vacuum stalls. They are beautiful in their gleaming industrial newness. I yearn for the day when I can buy those glass cleaner products and microfiber towels.
On three separate occasions I've been to the site to take photos; each time thinking I might need to update the photos and each time thinking I will show up and the car wash will be open.
Instead, the only thing that's changed is the height of the grass and the browning of the leaves on the freshly-planted young trees.
It seems such a waste. Yet I also wonder if the car wash gods decided — finally — that we actually don't need a new car wash for every person in Springfield.
If the heads of those vacuums could speak, what would they say?
“Why? Why have we been forsaken?”
This is Answer Man column No. 81.
