Just as the Elf on a Shelf sits and waits to be discovered, some of us have been sitting on the shelf for a while and some may need to sit for a season. Fall is the perfect time for change. The leaves are changing and this season provides the perfect opportunity for an evaluation of life, family, friends, personal involvement, desires, and professional endeavors.
With the change of the seasons, you might even discover others sitting next to you on the shelf who need to be rediscovered.
I’ve recently made some changes in my life that brought unexpected loneliness after a career of nonstop work. Over the past year, I retired from leading a nonprofit, sold the family house of 20-plus years where we raised our kids in, and moved from the Springfield area to a little cabin on Table Rock Lake.
All of that change rushed in a period where I questioned “who am I,” “now what is my purpose,” and unexpected loneliness.
After running at a fast and furious pace for most of my life as a serial entrepreneur and spending the past five years advocating for foster youth, coming to a screeching halt was quite the change. Although I knew the timing was perfect and in God’s hands, it was as if I had been running a marathon and immediately stopped to sit in the bleachers to watch the other runners go by.
It’s not easy telling a programmed mind that has been running for years to stop strategizing, problem-solving, innovating, and crunching numbers.
Literal and metaphorical jump in the lake
As I entered this new stage of life, the first thing I did was literally (and metaphorically) jump in the lake. Exhaustion from the race had run its course on my body and I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Sitting on the dock and kayaking became my daily routine. Looking for the blue heron bird who is always perched at the end of the cove became my norm and soon “Blue” and I were best friends.
After two months, I moved to personal interests and decided to pick up the increasingly popular game of pickleball. The pickleball community totally embraced my naivete and very unskilled abilities with encouragement and lessons. Soon I was playing 2-3 hours a day and was totally addicted to the game with amazing people by my side.
I next began clearing the professional parts of my life that I had previously so abruptly stopped. After a few months of not touching work emails, I started purging files and folders from my laptop. Categorizing files, emails, documents, and moving most of my data to hard drives allowed my laptop to free up space and optimize storage — just as I had done in my head over the previous few months.
Now what?
Just a few months prior, my busy professional life had been filled with early morning calls, a packed day of meetings, lunches, and endless phone calls. By the end of the day, my vocal cords and brain had no space for anything but work and I typically crashed at home after those long days.
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A newfound solitude — and a look in the mirror
What was unexpected in my new season was the loneliness of newfound solitude.
Not only had I let my identity be in my work and its accomplishments, I too had placed many dear friends on the shelf with the elf.
Six months into my solitude, I looked into the mirror and saw an opportunity of the new season. Pen and paper in hand, I started making a list of amazing people I wanted to reconnect with. I wrote down places that I wanted to visit and books I wanted to read.
Winter had ended and spring welcomed new beginnings. With my list in hand, I started making phone calls, arranging lunches, coffees, walks, and of course, pickleball games. As my days started balancing with intentional gatherings, I hopped off the shelf with the elf and entered into a season of joy, laughter, happiness, and fulfillment.
Take advantage of season of change
How does one enter a season of change? First pause and recognize areas that need change. Who can shoot straight with you and share truth without your emotions being affected. What is out of balance and who in your life may you have unintentionally placed on the shelf?
Find an activity that clears your mind and gets your body moving. Each season is three months. Change takes time, don’t rush the season.
We only have a few weeks until Elves will hit the shelves. Take advantage of this opportune season. Fall is here, the leaves are changing, and it’s a beautiful time for some change.
